Stuttr.

Words aren’t hard.

Like the air we breath, we speak them without thought. They flow as easy as water down a hill. We speak them without thought. Without consequence. They carry the weight of life and death. They move hearts, transform minds, bring a smile to the face and move us to tears.

Words aren’t hard. That’s not the problem.

Having something to say without saying it is the problem. Knowing what you want to say and not being able to is a pain that isn’t often felt. It’s the feeling of wanting to bring consequence, change, life and transformation to place you find yourself, and watching the moment pass by you without a sound.

Literally.

But words aren’t hard. Not here.

This space is where my words can flow. Where everything I long to express isn’t kept behind the bars of my mind or the limits of my body. This is where I can speak life, unhindered. Where the moment to use words stands still.

My stutter doesn’t exist in this space.

This blog is about the moments where the words are there, but we just can’t hear them. It’s about the moments when you’re waiting for me to speak and it’s getting awkward. It’s about the words I want you hear but I don’t know how to say them.

And, it’s about pushing through the silence. It’s about those times when I’m compelled to speak when I don’t want to. When the platform I’ve been given is too important to not try.

It’s about the lifelong struggle of being called to speak when I don’t want to.

This is behind the curtain. Behind the tears, the pain and the joy that I’ve found in being who God has made me to be. This is what strength in weakness feels like.

Words aren’t hard. Not as much as I think.